people are selfish fucks
Yo recuerdo las canciones que cantamos juntos.
Los carcajadas que compartimos.
Tus ojos cuando mirarme y como me mirarías de reojo cuando fumabas.
Tus besos inesperados en mi rostro.
La sensación de mi mano en la tuya.
Extraño todos los momentos que pasamos juntos.
Te extraño todos los días.
I’ve investigated all the possible ways that could lead me to see him again, but there’s been an obstacle at every turn. Is it really this not meant to be?
Damn it! Why?!
I miss him so much… ;__; I just want him to be here with me.
stop bothering me in my dreams
I believe things happen for a reason, whether if the reason serves in my favour or not, and god damn I really don’t want to follow through with that belief for the bad things that happen. But when something really shitty happens, it’s hard. During new year’s, I was stuck in Colombia, and ended up spending new year’s eve on the plane, and I couldn’t help but to think if that was a sign that I’m going to have a shitty time in the upcoming year. I brushed that off. But since January 1st, 2013, it seems like I’ve been nothing but worried every day. Almost every day there’s something new that requires my attention. Today may be one of the worst if not the worst day I’ve had since new year began. In the past two weeks or so, I’d gotten excited over the prospect of meeting my friend from Peru in China. Along every step of the trip planning process, there has been a hiccup, but we’ve managed to more or less overcome every obstacle so far, until today. We might not see each other after all this time around. I have nothing else to say other than simply, this sucks. I really had my hopes up. I’m going to try to see if there’s anything else we can do. I really refuse to give in to the thought that maybe this is just not meant to be. No bitch, I’m going to fight this shit.
You’ve got me, and I feel that I’ve got you. At this stage, I still feel so strongly for you. Almost comparable to that burning and crushing crush I’ve had in the past, but different, because unlike my deal with that crush, I think you and I are on the same page.
I hope it’s not the distance that’s, in conformance with human nature of always wanting what you can’t have, generating my desire to be with you.
The fact that I want to impress you all the time, that I want you to like me makes me feel uncomfortable sometimes, because it makes me feel never completely at ease around you. Although, when we are together, I never show my unease. I hate it. With unease, I feel like our interactions are so artificial on my part. But how do I stop that? How do I make these butterflies and uncertainties subside without the remedy of spending more time with you in real life?
It’s not set in stone, and I’m kind of scared of this feeling.
But if I were to stop thinking, to just speak from my heart now… I’d say that I’ve already fallen for you.
I want to love you.
And damn, I miss you a lot.